Conversations with God

My prayer life took a dramatic turn a few years ago. I was thriving in my freelance writing jobs. But after a year of commitment to their projects and when I least expected it, my most solid client dropped me like a bad habit.

They said, “It’s not you, it’s us.”

Classic breakup line, right? I felt so rejected and almost a little betrayed. My mom and dad couldn’t provide the answers as to why this had happened. My friends didn’t know what to say. I felt like no one even really cared about the situation. But it was a really big deal to me.

So I got in my car, drove aimlessly around Dallas, Texas, and eventually started venting to God about my crisis. It felt weird at first—honestly spilling my guts and using a tone that I thought may be somewhat irreverent in his presence.

But then I realized something. That’s the way he wants me to come to him—he wants to talk with the real me. He sees all of my junk, my thoughts, and my actions every day anyway. Why not talk openly with him about it? Why not share my deepest emotions and feelings with the one who created me?

I don’t make it a habit of being mad at God or taking weekly road trips in order to talk to Him about my misfortunes or headaches. But I have learned to have real, candid conversations with him about my hurt, my joy, my day at work, my friends, my desires, my job—things like that.

Since I made this discovery, my prayer life has become more alive than ever before. I don’t feel like I’m praying to the ceiling any longer. I feel connected to the Father in a way that is even harder for me to explain. I never fully understood it when people would talk about Jesus as if he were their best friend. But now I do.

When I am feeling lonely, I talk to him. When something great has happened in my life, I thank him profusely for his blessings and tell him how sovereign I truly believe he is. When someone or some situation has tripped me up, I ask him questions and wait for his answers.

No longer are my prayers ritualistically rigid. They have morphed into beautiful conversations with the one I adore, the lover of my soul, and my very best friend—Jesus.

Also posted on here on JosiahRoad.com.