A Healthy Dose of Job 1:21

"The Lord gave me what I had, 
and the Lord has taken it away. 
Praise the name of the Lord!”
—Job 1:21

When the emotional, two-month-ish roller coaster ride came to a stop this week and I stepped off, I was still breathing and my lunch had remained safely tucked away in my gut. And my reaction to it all surprised no one more than myself.

(Cue the let's-go-back-in-time dream sequence music here.)

In March, with pen in hand, Jesus wrote in allowed a few new, exciting twists and turns into my story—things I'd prayed for, waited for, hoped for. Then just as quickly, He took them all away. Every. Last. One. Freakishly. Unexpectedly. 

When the dust settled, I thought I'd be irrevocably devastated. I thought I'd for sure change my mind about God's infinite goodness. I thought I'd call it the worst kind of trickery and blame His obvious cruelty.

But I didn't.

Sure...there were tears and questions. OK...I had a long, honest talk with Jesus. Alright...I escaped to my home state for a minute (or three). Fine...I consumed no less than 27 cups of coffee in a 4-day period with complementary conversations.

But when rocked, my boat didn't capsize. It bumped the waves, but I wasn't thrown overboard. Wanna know why? I fell back into Him—like I'm stinking supposed to, like I always say I will when the going gets rough. I landed in my deeply anchored relationship with Him.

One of my best friends, Meredith, challenged me to write out what Jesus has taught me through this short little chapter. So here goes:

1. He's faithful. Always and forever. No doubt. Keep repeating it—even when you don't feel like it.
2. His nature can't be divided, so He can't be both good and cruel. He is who He is—and He's just really good. 
3. I'm a lucky girl. He's built a rock solid family and spiritual community around me like a brick wall—those who pray for, love, and encourage me. If you don't have this kind of biblical community, GET ONE.
4. The enemy is big, bad, and very real. Dude never gets exhausted trying to steal, kill, and destroy my life, dreams, spirit, heart, etc. So when these things happen, you know what to do? Recognize who it is and what he's doing. Suit up. And fight back.
5. Jesus hears and answers prayers. Every day during this chapter, I Psalm 5:3-ed the heck out of every piece of it. Each morning, I asked Him to guide and protect me—to go before me, behind me, around me. Looking back, He did. Which brings me to...
6. Romans 8:28. He's working all things out for His glory and my good. Like a boss.
7. Jesus is the giver of good gifts—all of which are beneficial. Even if what's good on the inside comes wrapped in painful, misunderstood packaging. I trust Him. I trust Him. I trust Him. I trust Him.
8. I've never been more sure that one of the things I've been created for in this life is to walk alongside a man in covenant marriage. And Jesus holds the pen in writing that story—NOT ME. 
9. I've also never been more sure that sovereign God guides my steps and has a holy, mind-blowing plan for my life. He's in the details—even the tiniest, seemingly insignificant ones. (See #6.)
10. I can encourage, pray for, and try to pull others out of a pit all day long, but ultimately, I'm NOT their Savior. That's Jesus' job, and I have no business trying to play His part.
11. For those who are loyally in love with God, there's life and more life and more life—to infinity and beyond. James 1. James stinking 1. Read it and weep. I did.

I can honestly say: "God gave me what He wanted. He took away from me what He wanted. I will trust Him no matter what. His name is worthy to be praised!"

Future Kaylan, this therapeutic blog post is more for you than anyone else. Remember it for the next time you have to get in the front seat on this kind of coaster and go for a wild ride. Except next time, throw your hands in the air and enjoy every minute of it. Repeat after me: it's a gift.