Yes, they're real...

So let me just make something perfectly clear. On a scale of 1-10, with 1 being slightly thought-provoking and 10 being "Help! I've fallen and I can't get up from the soul-slaying I just received," this blog post is probably a –0.25.

That's because I'm going to talk about mascara. That's right—as in a plain old beauty product. 

It's just that when I find something cosmetically lifechanging, I feel like I need to share it with the world. And, by "world," I mean the four people who follow this blog, which includes my dad (Hi, Dad!).

Now, for the backstory. I went into Sephora (the mothership of Beautyland) back in the spring, looking to break free from the pain I was inflicting upon myself using Givenchy Phenomen'Eyes. Great product. Bad execution (literally...of my eyeballs).

One of the girls took me to the mascara counter and showed me Benefit's "They're Real" Mascara. She whispered, "This is the best mascara I've ever used. It's got magical powers or something."

All of a sudden, I felt like I was in NYC's Chinatown, being led through the hidden door in the wall to the secret room that holds all the fake Coach and Kate Spade purses. You know what I'm talking about? I think I may have even looked over my shoulder a few times to make sure I wouldn't get caught.

So I made my purchase and tried it out the next morning. She was right. My lashes looked A-W-E-S-O-M-E. I immediately did a Herkie in front of my bathroom mirror and proclaimed myself an addict. Thank you, Sephora.

A few weeks ago, I went back for a fresh tube, but they were sold out—and had been for WEEKS! Disappointed, but in desperate need of something to coat my lashes, I bought some rando brand that I'm not even going to give the time of day on here and started an online search for my beloved Benefit. But everything online was sold out too.

That led to my arrest for stalking the cosmetic employees at Sephora every day of my life. Kidding. But I did harass them by phone at least three times a week until they confirmed it was back in stock. Because that's what a junkie does until she gets her fix.

Well, hallelujah and praise the Lord! They got a shipment in last week. I ran a few red lights and broke a few speed limits to get there over my lunch break, but I coasted in and purchased as much as my bank account would allow.

Girls, I'm not asking you to branch out from your own mascara, I'm telling you to do this. Trust me. I wouldn't lead you astray. And you won't regret it.