I don't want to just post Oswald Chamber's devotionals on here every day, but during this time in my life...I feel like I can share what's going on through my daily devotionals:

"Do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own..." (1 Corinthians 6:19).

"We are not sanctified for ourselves. We are called into intimacy with the gospel, and things happen that appear to have nothing to do with us. But God is getting us into fellowship with Himself. Let Him have His way. If you refuse, you will be of no value to God in His redemptive work in the world, but will be a hindrance and a stumbling block.

"The first thing God does is get us grounded on strong reality and truth. He does this until our care for ourselves individually have been brought into submission to His way for the purpose of His redemption. Why should we experience heartbreak? Through those doorways God is opening up ways of fellowship with His Son.

"Most of us collapse at the first grip of pain. We sit down at the door of God's purpose and enter a slow death through self-pity. And all the so-called Christian sympathy of others helps us to our deathbed. But God will not. He comes with the grip of the pierced hand of His Son, as if to say, 'Enter into fellowship with Me; arise and shine.' If God can accomplish His purposes in this world through a broken heart, then why not thank Him for breaking yours?"

There are many things I want in my life...marriage, a family, a new house, paid-in-full bills, weight loss, etc....but, more than any other thing I want to be in the very center of God's will. I don't know how I survived on my own before Him--or even when I strayed away from Him. I was truly lost.

I am so thankful for my salvation and for God's gentle nudge when I start to wander off. Matthew 10:37-39 says, "Anyone who loves his father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves his son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me; and anyone who does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me. Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it."

I used to think this passage of Scripture was cruel. But now I understand completely. I can't tell you...but, God is teaching me more now in my life through personal experiences than through anything I ever learned from the books or professors in college or seminary. I am grateful for my education, but I can't explain what He's doing right now. It's phenomenal. I am humbled every day by His goodness and grace.

I am learning to put aside every emotion and fickle feeling in order to KNOW that God is faithful to complete in my life all His purposes. I'm not worthy to be called His child, but His grace is sufficient and I will continue to die to myself daily and pick up my cross and follow Him at all costs.