I had the AMAZING opportunity to minister to a beautiful, godly lifelong friend of mine today. She has always been a great encouragement to me for many years (especially through college), so I so enjoyed returning the favor. I thought I would share with you what I did with her...with some more personal parts deleted, of course:

I guess there are two parts that I feel like God wants me to share with you: faith and knowing and doing His will. If there is ONE thing God has taught me this year, it has been faith--true faith. Not just the use of meaningless words or glorified thoughts--but truly learning to abandon all else to follow Him wherever.

At the beginning of this year, I made a HUGE HUGE HUGE leap of faith into an unknown world. I left my comfortable job because I felt (beyond a shadow of a doubt) that God was calling me to leave. And I didn't know why or how...but I earnestly sought Him in Scripture and through prayer and He revealed His will for that day.

He hadn't directed me as to where I was to go the next week...and quite honestly, the people at my job thought I was crazy for going out on a limb with nowhere to go. But regardless of their opinions, I stepped out on faith (something I had NEVER truly done before) not knowing where I was going to go from there.

I can't tell you how that one step of faith changed my life. It all began with surrender in college. I don't know if you remember me telling you that I prayed that God would do with my life whatever, whenever, and however He wanted to do it, but I did...and I can now look back and see an amazing transformation and journey He's brought me on.

First, I had to learn complete surrender with no reservations. Then I had to learn to step out on faith and that happened almost three years after I surrendered, so it took a while. But when I did, He began to open doors I never thought possible. And now God is teaching me things I never thought I could comprehend or understand.

All that to say...there are so many people in the Bible that we can learn from--so many lives that were changed and people of great faith that have left a legacy behind for us to follow. Hebrews 11 talks about heroes of faith:

* "By faith we understand that the universe was created by the word of God..." (v 3)
* "By faith Abel offered to God a better sacrifice than Cain did" (v 4)
* "By faith, Noah, after being warned about what was not yet seen, in reverence built an ark to deliver his family" (v 7)

And so on...but, the one that I am most fascinated with is Abraham. Hebrews 11:8 says, "By faith Abraham, when he was called, obeyed and went out to a place he was going to receive as an inheritance; he went out, not knowing where he was going."

By faith Abraham went out having no clue where he was going, but knowing that God had called him to seek the Promised Land. I think as believers, it's hard for us to separate common sense from faith. Common sense is so much more comfortable and while it is good to have, we oftentimes lose sight of what real faith is in the midst of it.

When Abraham was called to offer up Isaac as a sacrifice, there was no other way God could purify his faith than to break him out of his comfort zone and push him to do something that wasn't what he wanted. But because Abraham obeyed, God blessed him.

The greatest lesson I've learned from Abraham's faith in God is that he was prepared to do anything for the Lord no matter what he wanted to do or believed to be "right." I think it's important for us to always be willing to come to the point of giving up our own convictions, traditional beliefs, comfortable lifestyles, understanding and reason to move forward in what He has called us to do.

One other thing I've learned (and then I'll close), is that a life of faith isn't always glorious mountaintops. You already know this since you've been walking with the Lord for many years, but it's always good to hear someone else verbalize it. True faith is constantly tried, tested, and built up, so that eventually the believer is no longer spoiled by common sense, fear of stepping out, and comfort zones, but instead he or she is accustomed to SEEKING, KNOWING, and DOING the will of God by faith without hesitation.

Rest in the LORD, and wait patiently for Him; do not fret because of him who prospers in his way, because of the man who brings wicked schemes to pass.
--Psalm 37:7

God is really working on me right now. I met with a fabulously godly lady today, with whom I work, and had coffee. She was such an inspiration to me and gave me great words of wisdom and encouragement.

I've been frustrated for a while now as to why I can't seem to stay satisfied in the Lord--it's a constant battle between my selfish desires and what He wants for me. I guess I knew it all along, but it helped for someone else to verbalize it.

Tricky Satan has been trying to weasel his way into my thoughts and mind for a very long time...and even more so here lately. And just when I surrender to the Lord and get on my face before Him, I let my guard down and Satan clouds my focus on God.

I am coming to the place in my life where, more and more, I only want to say, "In all the world, there is no one else but You, dear God, there is no one else but You." If I am single for the rest of my life, if I never make tons of money or live in a fancy house or drive the best car or wear the most expensive clothes, or if I am never a supermodel look alike, then it's all OK...as long as I am in the center of God's will and I am completely and totally surrendered to Him.

You know what? Revelation...I think I'm falling in love with Him again...and Satan's trying desperately to prevent that from happening. For so long, I've let Satan convince me that I'm not worthy of God's love, that I don't deserve a relationship with my Lord, and that I'll never be a "good" Christian, but isn't that his job? The Bible makes it perfectly clear that he roams the earth seeking those he can destroy.

I am involved in this spiritual battle whether I want to be or not. And I must daily fight by humbling myself, staying in His Word, praying, and getting one-on-one with Him, so that nothing else will ever take His place. I'm finally convinced that there needs to be no other distractions in my life right now. I simply want to enjoy the intimacy of a growing relationship with My Savior.

As a side note to Krista's recent post...I totally agree, sister!

I am tired of jingling around nickels and dimes in my pocket when God has a 20 dollar bill out there He's just waiting to give me. I'm finished with the nickels...I'm ready to pocket a crisp, green 20 dollar bill.

You know...I'm convinced that God was trying to teach both of us a lesson that day we found the 20 dollar bill out in the middle of the parking lot. It's going to be exactly like that for us...it'll happen when we least expect it and it will be a total blessing.

But wait...there's more...

Quotes

Here are a couple of quotes that really moved me today:

"Were there any place better for you than the one in which you find yourself, Divine Love would have placed you there. ... If this is, in fact, the best place for me, I want to seize and celebrate it, and not miss whatever purpose God might have in placing me here."
—Leigh McLeroy

"As long as you maintain your own personal interests and ambitions, you cannot be completely aligned or identified with God's interests. This can only be accomplished by giving up all of your personal plans once and for all, and by allowing God to take you directly into His purpose for the world. Your understanding of your ways must also be surrendered, because they are now the ways of the Lord. When I stop telling God what I want, He can freely work His will in me without any hindrance. He can crush me, exalt me, or do anything else He chooses. He simply asks me to have absolute faith in Him and His goodness."
—Oswald Chambers

obedience

When I was little and crossed the major road that carried lots of traffic close to our house without asking permission, what happened? I was spanked.

When I told a lie, what happened? I was punished.

When I acted out of rebellion and defied my parents authority, what happened? I was grounded or seriously disciplined.

There's never been a time in my life when I've NOT struggled with the issue of obedience. I truly believe that when I came out of the womb I yearned to be independent and make my own decisions from that point forward. Bless the hearts of my parents who tried their best to raise a free spirit to be a self-controlled, poised, and godly young lady. They did a great job, but my heart has always been a little rebellious.

Isn't everyone's though?

I'm realizing that when I've questioned God's call for me to do something specific in the past, my hesitation has come from me putting other things in competition with His reign and rule over my mind, body, and spirit. I often get so worked up about the minor things in life (trying to work them out on my own), that I refuse to see God's big picture. The answer has always been simple...simply obey Him in EVERYTHING I do...even the trivial things.

If I obey Him in everything...both the seemingly major and minor things in life...I will prove to be a witness to others of my obedience and faithfulness to the Lord, and more than that...He will be pleased with me. When I can't pay a bill, when I'm having a bad hair day, when I'm feeling overwhelmed, when I've gained a few pounds, when someone has hurt me, or so on...I need to come face-to-face with Him.

My relationship with God could certainly be compared to the discipline my parents gave me when I disobeyed as a child. I can look back over my life and see that when I was walking hand in hand with Him and I tried to veer off the path, He gently guided me back to the straight and narrow.

But when my rebellious, sinful nature kicked in and I took off running full force from Him, He had to grab me by the arm, scold me, and execute serious discipline as a result of my straying. (Maybe I should have been harnessed to Him like some kids are to their parents.) But then I can see that after I was punished He forgave my disobedience, comforted me with love, scooped me up in His arms, let me cry out my shame and regret on His shoulder, and carried me for a while.

As an adult now, I am grateful for God's discipline because, as I mature in Him, my obedience grows and His blessings increase.

I don't want to just post Oswald Chamber's devotionals on here every day, but during this time in my life...I feel like I can share what's going on through my daily devotionals:

"Do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own..." (1 Corinthians 6:19).

"We are not sanctified for ourselves. We are called into intimacy with the gospel, and things happen that appear to have nothing to do with us. But God is getting us into fellowship with Himself. Let Him have His way. If you refuse, you will be of no value to God in His redemptive work in the world, but will be a hindrance and a stumbling block.

"The first thing God does is get us grounded on strong reality and truth. He does this until our care for ourselves individually have been brought into submission to His way for the purpose of His redemption. Why should we experience heartbreak? Through those doorways God is opening up ways of fellowship with His Son.

"Most of us collapse at the first grip of pain. We sit down at the door of God's purpose and enter a slow death through self-pity. And all the so-called Christian sympathy of others helps us to our deathbed. But God will not. He comes with the grip of the pierced hand of His Son, as if to say, 'Enter into fellowship with Me; arise and shine.' If God can accomplish His purposes in this world through a broken heart, then why not thank Him for breaking yours?"

There are many things I want in my life...marriage, a family, a new house, paid-in-full bills, weight loss, etc....but, more than any other thing I want to be in the very center of God's will. I don't know how I survived on my own before Him--or even when I strayed away from Him. I was truly lost.

I am so thankful for my salvation and for God's gentle nudge when I start to wander off. Matthew 10:37-39 says, "Anyone who loves his father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves his son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me; and anyone who does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me. Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it."

I used to think this passage of Scripture was cruel. But now I understand completely. I can't tell you...but, God is teaching me more now in my life through personal experiences than through anything I ever learned from the books or professors in college or seminary. I am grateful for my education, but I can't explain what He's doing right now. It's phenomenal. I am humbled every day by His goodness and grace.

I am learning to put aside every emotion and fickle feeling in order to KNOW that God is faithful to complete in my life all His purposes. I'm not worthy to be called His child, but His grace is sufficient and I will continue to die to myself daily and pick up my cross and follow Him at all costs.

Today's devo from "My Utmost for His Highest" was perfect for my recent emotional transaction:

"He replied, 'Because you have so little faith. I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you'" (Matthew 17:20).

"We have the idea that God rewards us for our faith, and it may be so in the initial stages. But we do not earn anything through faith--faith brings us into the right relationship with God and gives Him His opportunity to work. Yet God frequently has to knock the bottom out of your experience as His saint to get you in direct contact with Himself.

"God wants you to understand that it is a life of faith, not a life of emotional enjoyment of His blessings. The beginning of your life of faith was very narrow and intense, centered around a small amount of experience that had as much emotion as faith in it, and it was full of light and sweetness. Then God withdrew His conscious blessings to teach you to 'walk by faith' (2 Corinthians 5:7). And you are worth much more to Him now than you were in your days of conscious delight with your thrilling testimony.

"Faith by its very nature must be tested and tried. And the real trial of faith is not that we find it difficult to trust God, but that God's character must be proven as trustworthy in our own minds. Faith being worked out into reality must experience times of unbroken isolation. Never confuse the trial of faith with the ordinary discipline of life, because a great deal of what we call the trial of faith is the inevitable result of being alive.

"Faith, as the Bible teaches it, is faith in God coming against everything that contradicts Him--a faith that says, 'I will remain true to God's character whatever He may do.' The highest and greatest expression of faith in the whole Bible is--'Though He slay me, yet will I trust Him' (Job 13:15)."

I'M A WRITER

Lately, I've been questioning God as to whether or not this whole writing/editing thing is "my calling." I mean, He didn't exactly strike me with lightning and speak forth from the heavens. There wasn't even an inspirational passage of Scripture that spoke to me. Neither did I awake in the middle of the night realizing the great revelation of God's call.

So, I began to wonder if this is really what God wants me to do. Or is it just that it was the most interesting path of study at college? Perhaps this wasn't what God intended me to do in the beginning, but since I got off the path and strayed away from Him several years back, this is the second best?

I know...you're probably saying, "Good and bad, God had it all planned out, Kaylan." And you're right...but, I am human and I'm going to question these things. So, I asked for God's affirmation of this "calling" I've accepted. Well, I got it.

In my devotional time this morning, God totally confirmed it. I am continuing my journey through "My Utmost for His Highest." And it's funny that as many years as I have gone through it, God still speaks to me through the predetermined verses and thoughts by Oswald Chambers right where I am in life.

Here's an excerpt:
"We are inclined to forget the deeply spiritual and supernatural touch of God. If you are able to tell exactly where you were when you received the call of God and can explain all about it, I question whether you have truly been called. The call of God does not come like that; it is much more supernatural. The realization of the call in a person's life may come like a clap of thunder or it may dawn gradually. But however quickly or slowly this awareness comes, it is always accompanied with an undercurrent of the supernatural--something that is inexpressible and produces a "glow." At any moment the sudden awareness of this incalculable, supernatural, surprising call that has taken hold of your life may break thought--"I chose you..." (John 15:16). The call of God has nothing to do with salvation and sactification. You are not called to preach the gospel because you are sanctified; the call to preach the gospel is infinitely different. Paul describes it as a compulsion that was placed upon him. ... He had become aware of the call of God, and his compulsion to "preach the gospel" was so strong that nothing else was any longer even a competitor for his strength. If a man or woman is called of God, it doesn't matter how difficult the circumstances may be. God orchestrates ever force at work for His purpose in the end. If you will agree with God's purpose, He will bring not only your conscious level but also all the deeper levels of your life, which you yourself cannot reach, into perfect harmony."

I know it's a little long--but, it's very profound. The verse for this devotional was from 1 Corinthians 9:16 where Paul says, "For if I preach the gospel, I have no reason to boast, because an obligation is placed of me. And woe to me if I do not preach the gospel!"

So mine has been a dawning of sorts. Back in college (when this all began) I remember distinctly praying--giving in to the Lord and telling Him that I was available to do whatever, wherever, and whenever. I think that might have triggered it all because then the supernatural started to happen--slowly, but surely.

And while I can't put my finger on a clap of thunder, specific revelation, or divine intervention from God, I do know that I can look back over the past several years and see the hand of God working supernaturally--opening doors that I never thought possible and blessing me in ways that I don't deserve.

This truly puts everything into perspective. My desire for a house, money, husband, family, friends, acceptance by others, and other things mean nothing. The only thing that truly matters is that I answer YES to these things: Am I daily following the Lord and fulfilling His call on my life? Am I constantly seeking to be in the center of His will? Am I putting all things aside, including my selfish desires, to make Him number 1, number 2, number 3, and so on in my life?

I must constantly wake up each morning and die to myself in order to truly and completely follow Christ while using those skills which he's blessed me with to glorify Him. I've finally come to the realization that this is all that matters in this life. It's simple--I must throw away the obstacles that block my view of Him so that I can be fully aware of His call, His grace, His wisdom, and His love.

I know this is a long entry, but it just proves one more thing--I'm doing exactly what God wants me to do. I'm a writer.

POP CHRISTOPHER

Finally realizing that your grandparents are slowly fading away from this life is a brutal punch in the face. My Grandpa Christopher (affectionately known to all the grandkids as "Pop") is in the hospital right now and in surgery at this moment to remove a tumor from his bladder.

The doctors have pushed it back over and over the past couple of days, so I'm a little anxious at this point. Unfortunately, the docs said that the combination of his bad heart, diabetes, damaged kidneys, and tumored bladder are not good signs of a full recovery after surgery. Please pray for him.

It finally hit me today that time is slipping through my fingers like air. I'm now 25 and it seems like yesterday I was spending time in the summer and my Grandmother and Pop's house roaming through the woods, checking out the "haunted" barn, playing house with the cousins, and so on.

My Grandmother--absolutely one of most humble and strongest women of faith I've ever known--has been at home with the Lord since June 1, 2002. And now, Pop is very ill with only so much time left. I know that we all must go through death in order to enter into the presence of the Lord, but for those of us that remain it's hard to let go of our loved ones.

These kind of whirlwind events just make you realize how precious life is and how important it is to know the Lord and have a personal relationship with Him so that your eternity is secure. Thank God that my family members love the Lord. From now on, I am not taking one more day for granted or considering one more moment spent with the people I love wasted.